I have an admonition. I can’t surf. Now I realize that this comes as a shock for most of you, but I just can’t do it. Yes, I live on an island. Yes, the surfing here is wonderful. Yes, people pay large amounts of money to fly to Hawaii and take surfing lessons every year. But as for me, I’m clumsy.

I remember trying to surf as a child. It didn’t go well. I could never stay up, and by up I don’t mean standing. I wasn’t that lucky. You see, I considered myself blessed if I could stay atop the surf board for any length of time before inevitably falling off. While most of my friends practiced and became better, I practiced and got more bruised. One time I went out and ended up water-logged, bruised, and bleeding. (I had accidentally fallen and then simultaneously hit my head on the surf board on my way down.) Who knows – perhaps this much klutziness is a talent.

My friends to this day laugh at me. I even had one friend buy me surfing lessons from Hawaiian Surfing Adventures on the north shore, but I knew even then that I was hopeless. I suppose I just don’t fit the stereotype of the typical Hawaiian native. But that’s okay. I’ve learned to really enjoy watching others surf over the years. And just in case I’m frightening you, don’t worry. I have never known another human being, whether native or tourist, to have as much trouble learning as I have had. I’m guess I’m just not meant to fly across the water.